The last 34 weeks have brought an ambush by a double team of depression and lack of motivation. I will say that I have been beaten by it for most of the year. Shortly after the revolution began all of my motivation to go to the gym and most of all complete my change of diet left me. I was sleeping more and having no ambition. The only thing that kept moving was the scale, and in the wrong direction. I see at the end of the summer that my weight has gone up 7 pounds. I went back to my original blog post on 11/24/08 where I weighed 255 pounds. I currently weigh 262 pounds. I am so upset with myself. I remember last year when I was in the 230's, and I said that at 240 was my threshold. Then 240 came and gone, then 250 was my threshold. That came and went, now 260 is past I am so sick of hearing my own excuses and trying to comfort my pain with food. This is a vicious circle depression and eating than depression again.
I have 16 weeks (as of 9/14) until the end of the year, and it's time to reverse the scale. I flat out refuse to let the 270 monster overtake me. I absolutely will not let it beat me. I have to make my stand and this is threshold. I am not going to set any crazy goals for the end of the year. The only goal I will set is that the scale will be moving to the left and only the left. I have realized that no one can save me but myself. There is no one there putting a gun to my head forcing me to eat all the bad stuff.
The revolution has been thwarted from the inside. There will be a new stronger revolution starting. The coup d'état has started and it's time for a new ruler to take charge.
Out with food, in with Steve
1 comment:
Glad to see your back...was getting worried...left you a VM, you can call a brother you know. How was the alpo? I like your blog...your right, noone but yourself can do it, I hope you mean it this time. I also fell off the horse for a couple months, now is the time.
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